Monday, October 21, 2013

The paramedics drove down my street and I thought they were coming for me. I thought they had heard the screams that roared through the city. I thought the neighbors witnessed the catastrophe that has been taking place all day - the shattering of everything I held dear, the destroyed fragments of what used to make sense, and the self inflicted pain that was my last desperate plea. I thought they knew. I thought they would come up to my front door, knocking like hesitant heroes who are unsure of what to expect. As soon as the door opened, what would they see? An abusive father who wanted me dead, or a robber who wanted to accomplish everything else before sealing the deed with my last breath? What could they possibly see that they haven’t before? 

I look out my bedroom window to see them assisting the house right across from me. Of course. The only thing that exists within the corridors of my household at this moment is a hardworking mother and her daughter, who harbored these events within her imaginative thoughts. Not even words could fully clothe what my heart currently feels. My struggle is silent and transparent. Today, I learned that I am nothing that I once hoped to be. Every part of me hurts. 

But I’m no damsel in distress. Not even the paramedics could revive this.

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